Search for the Perfect Dog

Last weekend (April 22-23) I went to visit friends in Chicago. I went to have sort of a final fling of food in the windy city, and what happened next was probably one of the best days I've spent in that town. The great search for the Chicago "Dragged Through the Garden" Hot Dog.

A Chicago Style Hot Dog is more than just a Hot Dog; it's a taste sensation with the perfect blend of toppings. So, what exactly is a Chicago Dog? A Chicago Style Hot Dog is a steamed all beef Hot Dog topped with yellow mustard, bright green relish, onions, tomato, pickle spear, sport peppers and a dash of celery salt served in the all-important steamed poppyseed bun.

Saturday started out normally with a "light" breakfast at the Blue Angel and then some fun t-shirt shopping. Eventually Greg, Kimber and I were ready to start the search.

Our first stop was The Wiener's Circle downtown. There was limited seating but the atmosphere was truly downtown Chicago. The dog was pretty good, but with limited amounts of relish and mustard. The dog had all the components however. Even though the bun was a little stale, on our scale of 1 to 5, Wiener's Circle received a 3. Not bad for our first stop.

Second stop was Wolfy's on Peterson. I have driven past this establishment many times, but never had the opportunity to try out the cuisine. As it was, probably best that I hadn't. Wolfy's bun was soggy, the dog had very little snap and was a little overcooked but had good flavor. The onion was "a bit off" according to K but the celery salt seemed to be just right. My tomato still had the "butt" end on it so that was a negative for me. Still in all, they did have Green River soda and the cool sign with the giant frank on a fork. They managed to come out with a 2 dog rating from the three of us.

Third in line was U Lucky Dawg (formerly Flukey's). I have to say that I do love mustard -- but not THAT much!! Besides being drowned in French's, the dog was overdone, not enough relish, soggy dill spear, and onions were not evenly distributed enough for us OCD folks. They did have some kitch factor and a table-side mini-jukebox, but for all that, the dog was just not good enough. Only receiving a rating of one, U Lucky Dawg - not so lucky.

Number four stop was a place that Greg had heard alot about - Bill's Drive In. Unfortunately, the worst stop on the tour. The bun wasn't even poppy seed - it was a plain old stale white bun! Relish was pale, not enough onion, too much mustard, not enough celery salt, and the dog was over-cooked, again. Even for $1.74 (the cheapest place on the tour) the dill pickle, peppers, and grilled onion were all extra! How dare they!? This was our least favorite stop so far, so an appropriate ZERO was the score.

Next stop was probably the cutest named hot dog stand in Evanston called Mustard's Last Stand. The food was probably pretty good for not being in the city, so just a few comments. Not enough poppy seeds on the bun for some, some snap to the dog that was juicy but just not hot enough. The missing celery salt really brought down the score for this one. Oh, and I got the tomato butt end again, what's up with that?? All in all it was a cute spot for the neighborhood kids to get ice cream, but the Chicago dog didn't quite cut it. Our score? Two.

It was probably a good idea to save SuperDawg for last. Arguably the most famous and kitchy restaurant in the city, SuperDawg had it all. Car hop service (even at your picnic table!), super smell, awesome packaging, super kitch, and above all, outstanding customer service. You just knew when you pressed the button and you hear Flaurie's voice on the squeaky speaker, "Hiya! Thanks fer stoppin'!" that you're about the have a religious hot dog experience. The Superdawg comes in it's own box and is lounging inside with a hearty helping of Superfries. The bun was steamed but not soggy, good fluorescent relish, mustard, onion, a nice snappy pickle and plenty of peppers. Unfortunatley, the celery salt was missing and the tomatoes were in wedges and were green. The only reason this place did not get a perfect rating. We also ordered a Whoopski dawg to share. This is a polish sausage on a big bun with barbecue sauce and grilled onion. Pretty tasty, I have to say. Oh, and the chocolate malts aren't bad either, right Kimber? We all got cute plastic cups with Maurie and Flaurie on them and Kimber even got a t-shirt!! Which came in a Superdawg package! It was truly awesome. Our score was 4 out of the perfect 5.

So as you can imagine, by this time it's about 5:00 pm and we are stuffed full. So if you're going to Chicago to have one last hot dog fling, don't waste your time with imitations. We suggest Wiener's Circle and Superdawg as the definitive places to check out for all hot dog needs. Oh, and also Strange Cargo for making our own personally designed t-shirts.

So thank you so much to Greg (for the evaluation cards, driving, and paying), and to Kimber for slicing and making me laugh so hard I wanted to puke (but not in a coyote's mouth) -- from the bottom of my pure beef heart. Nette.

Mixed Bag

As the date of my surgery draws near, I am inclined to start telling people about the upcoming event. At work the other day, in between 2 meetings we all got out our calendars to schedule even more upcoming meetings (meetings are very popular in my business). As people were scheduling, I quietly sat by and said "that's fine, but I won't be there." As we all were taking a short break, I decided to tell some of the people in the room about my surgery. What I got was a mixed bag of reactions.

The first one was Surprise. "You want to lose weight? But you seem so happy." Sure I'm happy. I just ate a chili dog and a chocolate malt. Who wouldn't be happy? But why is there this stigma where "fat" = "jolly?" If I become skinny, will I lose my sense of humor? God, I hope not.

The second reaction was Supportive. This person was really excited for me. Of course just about everyone now knows or is related to someone who has had the gastric bypass. For those who know someone who was successful, they are eager to tell you about it. They really did well, lost alot of weight and are so much happier! I liked this reaction. It made me feel good.

The third reaction was Skeptical. "Oh yeah, I've heard of that." This person has probably heard and will tell you horror stories of people who have had terrible complications and hardships and suffering. Of course every individual is different and every surgeon is different. If you are comfortable and are prepared for the surgery and trust your surgeon, complications should be minimized. Of course you have to follow the rules afterward!!

The last reaction was my least favorite: No reaction. "Oh, gastric bypass? Well, good luck with that." What does that mean? You just don't know what they are thinking. Not that anyone would wish anything bad to happen to me (although someone did egg my house the other night - another story).

Regardless of people's reactions to the news, there is another unknown that concerns me. How will people treat me after I have lost the weight? Will it be different than how I am treated now?

People who don't know me, won't stare, point, laugh, or whisper to their friends. One of the things we can focus on post-surgery is becoming an advocate for "fat discrimination." It's no secret that fat folks are one of the last groups that are still openly discriminated against in the workplace and other places. We are people who have thoughts and feelings just like everyone else. So the next time you see an overwieght person, look them in the eye, smile at them, open the door for them. They will appreciate being treated like humans.

But what about the people who do know me? Will they act differently toward me?? I have read of cases, where people have lost their best friends, husbands, boyfriends. One would think those are the very people who would be supportive of helping you get healthy. People do things for strange reasons. I guess the more I think about it, the people I love, who I call my friends, will still be my friends. I don't think they would want to recast my role in the group because I can now wear a size 10 instead of a 26. I am grateful for that.

So please talk to your family. Talk to your friends about it. If you are considering this operation, you will need some people to support you. They are there for you. You are loved.

Embracing the Tiger

I believe strongly in our ability to derive great power from being real, feeling and expressing love, and finding inner peace. To deal with our pain, we first must embrace the pain before sending it on its way; this sounds similar to the Tai Chi posture called “Embracing the Tiger.”



I remember a story as a child about the Rabbit and the Tiger. We know that these fairy tales always have underlying themes and morals that help provide direction and guidance for our lives.

“Early one morning, Rabbit was still fast asleep. 'Ahhhh...whew...ahhhh...whew.' Suddenly, from someplace not too far away, came a terrible sound. "AAARRRGGHHH!!!" It was the sound of Tiger's roar. For his entire life, Rabbit had outrun the tiger that ruled this part of the forest. But today would be different. Rabbit had decided he was through running away in fear. Today, he would use his wits, turn around, and face the tiger”.

As the Rabbit avoided the ferocious Tiger, so do we try to avoid those things that bring anxiety and stress to our lives. However, since we cannot avoid all stressors and anxiety-producers all the time, we must learn to resolve them when we can, to keep our lives peaceful, fulfilled, and healthy.

“In the strongest voice he could muster, Rabbit spoke to the Tiger. ‘Last night while you were hunting, there was a meeting of all the animals. They decided that you are no longer ruler here... and they said... they said that I am now the fiercest beast in the forest!’

‘Ha! That's a good joke!’ roared Tiger. ‘Now I will eat you.’

‘Ah, Ah... I can prove it,’ said Rabbit, trembling inside. ‘All the animals are terrified of me. Let me ride on your back through the forest... if all the animals don't run away in fear, that will prove I am a liar, and then I will let you eat me.’

After this, Rabbit bravely jumped on Tiger's back, and urged him to walk on. Sure enough, all the animals stared at Rabbit in shock, thinking he must have gone crazy to climb on top of Tiger's head and would surely be eaten at any moment. And just as Rabbit had predicted, each and every animal turned away and ran.”

Obesity-Related Co-Morbidities
Obesity-related health conditions are health risks that, whether alone or in combination, can significantly reduce your life expectancy. A partial list of some of the more common obesity related health conditions follows. Your doctor can provide you with a more detailed and complete list:

· Type 2 Diabetes
· High blood pressure/Heart disease
· Dyslipidemia/High Cholesterol: Dyslipidemia means a disorder of fat-like substances in the blood. A common form of dyslipidemia is what people often refer to as "high cholesterol."
· Osteoarthritis of weight-bearing joints
· Depression
· Sleep apnea/Respiratory problems
· Gastroesophageal reflux/Heartburn
· Infertility
· Menstrual irregularities

I possess 6 of these co-morbidities currently. It is my intention to not contract any more of them and to rid myself of those that I can control.

“Tiger stopped walking. Slowly turning his head, he spoke to Rabbit with a new tone, ‘What you say is true. Clearly, you are the fiercest animal in the forest.’

Rabbit hopped off Tiger's back. Tiger lowered his head and walked away. And he was never seen in that part of the forest again. So, the clever Rabbit was able to live and nap in peace!”

That Rabbit! How courageous he was! It takes courage to face risks and do something about them. We all need to face the Tiger and maintain a normal, healthy weight. While these are not guarantees against disease, they significantly reduce our risks. I have chosen a path that will help me gain control over the pain and the fear. I’m ready to embrace the tiger.

"Don't you f*cking look at me..."

So last night was the first night I used my C-PAP (Continuous Positive Airway Pressure) machine. Dr. Rizavi (a cute little neurologist I know) explained to me that during my sleep study (another whole story) that I woke up 120 times in the first hour. My O2 sat dropped to 70. Did you know that oxygen deprivation can cause brain damage? Hmmm, I'll have to think about that one (ouch! I huurt my brain!).

Anyway, so Monday I went to the American Home Patient store and picked out my very own REMster 3000. It's a cute little machine with a little tank of distilled water to humidify the air that it pumps into your nose. It has a cute little hose and a nose mask that looks just like the one that Frank Booth had in David Lynch's film Blue Velvet. In fact, as I got the whole thing adjusted on my head and climbed into bed to get some serious rest, Miss Wiskers jumped on the bed as usual to curl up next to my pillow. She took one look at me and stopped cold! She was scared to death of me! After I said "It's okay kitty - it's still mommy!", and she ran like lightning out of the room, I muttered to myself the famous line: "Don't you f*cking look at me!"

So I slept with the mask on and no kitties. I'm sure it will take time for them to get used to it as it will me. I didn't really feel any different today than usual, so I'm hoping it's because it takes a while to really notice the benefits.

And as an aside, the machine has a "smart card" that is stuck in the side like a credit card. There is a program that measures the frequency and length of time the machine is used. After a month, I send this card to my insurance company and they analyze the data. If the data shows that I'm not being "compliant," they won't pay. Isn't insurance a Godsend?

So tonight I'm ready to get back in the harness and get some much needed rest. But don't be surprised if the next time you see me, I have a bottle of Pabst Blue Ribbon and a tank of helium...

Welcome to my Bworld

Here it is early spring and I'm just dying to get outdoors. Unfortunately I'm stuck inside at work. So why not set up a blog? So here I am and welcome to my space.

It is my intention to journal my journey (heh heh) through the process of having gastric bypass surgery. I have committed myself to this mutilation in order to save my life. I have been heavy all my life and I've decided to do something about it. It's been a pretty intensive process, so there is alot I will be working through. If there are those reading this and thinking about the surgery, this may help you through too.

I have posted the original first blog, so go ahead and read it even though I wrote it back on March 25th.

Welcome!
Netto

March 25, 2006

So here I sit. I am definitely exhausted from a stressful week at work and know I should be sleeping, but alas, my brain is still very busy. I even took 2 Tylenol bedtime tablets and, well, nothing is happening.

As I keep thinking I realize that I am about to undergo a procedure that will change my life forever. I am having Gastric Bypass surgery on May 16, 2006. Of course I had been planning and preparing for this for the last 6 months or so. When you start the process, you know it’s going to take this long. I did so much research online that I think I hit every single Weight-loss site there is. So I should be prepared. I’m committed, I’m ready, I know it’s going to work, I put my heart and soul into the process so completely that I can hardly think of anything else.

So why am I sitting here – scared to death?

Ever since I was little (well okay I was never really “little” but I mean “young”) I have been fascinated with food. My mom was an incredible cook and growing up in the Midwest I had come to rely on comfort foods that you knew would make you feel happy, warm, safe, and content. “Here, eat this brownie, it will make you feel better.” You damn right it will! In fact, it makes me feel so much better; I think I’ll just eat this whole PAN of brownies!! Growing up in a farm family spoils you on what you come to believe is how real food tastes. Friends I had growing up who lived in town didn’t have fresh cream or eggs. Their moms made loose meat sandwiches and box mix cakes. They had no idea what real food tastes like.

After mom got sick and I was taking care of her and my aunt, I still made the same dishes that mom so willingly and lovingly taught me to make: Homemade macaroni and cheese, beef and vegetable soup, meatloaf, cakes, pies and those sugar cookies that just don’t taste like anyone else’s. Those are the things I knew and clinged to when things got rough and I felt bad. Like scraping my knee, when I got hurt on the inside I ate the foods I knew and loved. I felt better and knew everything would be just fine after I had one more piece of that chocolate pie.



So maybe I’m not scared of the surgery. Maybe I’m not scared of the mutilation the surgeon will be doing to my digestive system. Maybe I’m not afraid that the thought of doing 30 minutes of exercise a day sounds horrible. Maybe I’m afraid of losing the feelings I had. Maybe I’m afraid of losing the secure feeling and the warmth of my mother’s care.

I know from the psychiatric evaluation that I’m mentally stable (yes, some will argue). I’m prepared mentally to accept the changes I’m imposing. But why do I feel so sad? It’s almost like a grieving process at this point. My psychiatrist assured me that there would be mental and emotional issues after the surgery. I know it’s going to be a huge adjustment and that I will have to look for alternate ways to comfort myself. I don’t know how hard it’s going to be and that frightens me too.

Everyone I have talked to has been very reassuring. I’ve talked to several people who have had the procedure. They say to do it, and that I will feel so much better. Once your body learns to crave the foods you need from the body’s perspective instead of the minds – it’s easy! I feel like it will be an uphill battle for me, but I have the strength and resolve to do it. I know if I set my mind to it I can do it. I want to think it’s going to be easy, but everything I’ve read tells me it isn’t.

So I’m scared. And I’m awake. The surgery is 53 days away. That sounds like a long time, doesn’t it? It’s not.

Okay, it’s 1:00 so I’m going to find a kitty and go back to bed. More later.