Mixed Bag

As the date of my surgery draws near, I am inclined to start telling people about the upcoming event. At work the other day, in between 2 meetings we all got out our calendars to schedule even more upcoming meetings (meetings are very popular in my business). As people were scheduling, I quietly sat by and said "that's fine, but I won't be there." As we all were taking a short break, I decided to tell some of the people in the room about my surgery. What I got was a mixed bag of reactions.

The first one was Surprise. "You want to lose weight? But you seem so happy." Sure I'm happy. I just ate a chili dog and a chocolate malt. Who wouldn't be happy? But why is there this stigma where "fat" = "jolly?" If I become skinny, will I lose my sense of humor? God, I hope not.

The second reaction was Supportive. This person was really excited for me. Of course just about everyone now knows or is related to someone who has had the gastric bypass. For those who know someone who was successful, they are eager to tell you about it. They really did well, lost alot of weight and are so much happier! I liked this reaction. It made me feel good.

The third reaction was Skeptical. "Oh yeah, I've heard of that." This person has probably heard and will tell you horror stories of people who have had terrible complications and hardships and suffering. Of course every individual is different and every surgeon is different. If you are comfortable and are prepared for the surgery and trust your surgeon, complications should be minimized. Of course you have to follow the rules afterward!!

The last reaction was my least favorite: No reaction. "Oh, gastric bypass? Well, good luck with that." What does that mean? You just don't know what they are thinking. Not that anyone would wish anything bad to happen to me (although someone did egg my house the other night - another story).

Regardless of people's reactions to the news, there is another unknown that concerns me. How will people treat me after I have lost the weight? Will it be different than how I am treated now?

People who don't know me, won't stare, point, laugh, or whisper to their friends. One of the things we can focus on post-surgery is becoming an advocate for "fat discrimination." It's no secret that fat folks are one of the last groups that are still openly discriminated against in the workplace and other places. We are people who have thoughts and feelings just like everyone else. So the next time you see an overwieght person, look them in the eye, smile at them, open the door for them. They will appreciate being treated like humans.

But what about the people who do know me? Will they act differently toward me?? I have read of cases, where people have lost their best friends, husbands, boyfriends. One would think those are the very people who would be supportive of helping you get healthy. People do things for strange reasons. I guess the more I think about it, the people I love, who I call my friends, will still be my friends. I don't think they would want to recast my role in the group because I can now wear a size 10 instead of a 26. I am grateful for that.

So please talk to your family. Talk to your friends about it. If you are considering this operation, you will need some people to support you. They are there for you. You are loved.