Tale of a Big-Boned Gal

Story of a woman undergoing gastric bypass surgery.

Friday, April 13, 2007

Anal Probe: AKA "My Colon" by Annette Pearson

Okay, so here's the deal. I have been having some difficulties with my iron. Those who know me, know that I am prone to lightheadedness and fainting spells. Dr. K thinks it is because I'm just not absorbing enough iron from the oral supplements I'm taking. Dr. G thinks maybe I'm losing blood from somewhere. Since I already had the Endoscope shoved down my neck, with no problems, they decided I needed to have a Colonoscopy.

This procedure, while a little invasive, is done to hunt down polyps, diverticula, and the big "C." I agreed to have the procedure and then I found out about the "prep" phase.

So in order to prepare my colon for observation in this fashion, I had to have clear liquids all day on Wednesday (the day before) and then take 4 pills and drink a gallon of something called "Halflytly" to clean out my colon. After the "colon blow" I couldn't drink anything after midnight. I was SO HUNGRY. I think it was the first time I had actually felt hunger pangs since my surgery back in May of 2006! I went to bed without any supper and dreamed sweet dreams of McDonald's breakfast sandwiches...

Joe came to pick me up at 6:10 AM since I had to check in at 7:00. It was 31 degrees and slick from the recent snow storm (set a record of 4 inches - in freaking APRIL - thanks Global Warming...) So we got to the hospital and I had to stop at the LAB (and see what was on the SLAB). The little girl drew my blood and sent me up to surgery.

When they called me in to surgical prep, the nurse removed my cotton ball from the blood draw site on my left arm, and then proceeded to put the BP cuff on the same arm. Well, what happened next was gory. My vein exploded and blood started squirting out of the hole in my arm. Those darn BP cuffs are so tight - I'm talking about the automatic ones, not the old-fashioned ones - that it just squeezed the blood right outta me. She gave me a Garfield bandage so I forgave her.

Next, I got my IV and waited about 45 minutes until they came to get me. I got to the OR room, laid down and took a little nap. Next thing I knew I was in recovery waiting for a cup of coffee (they promised). The nurse told me I would have to pass all the air that they had to pump into me. I was amazed. I think I could have resurrected the Hindenburg.

So I was out of there at 10:30 AM. I guess the good news is, Dr. K didn't really find anything. I have 2 diverticula but that's it. Everything else looked nice and healthy. I did ask for a set of photos so I could post them.

So now, for your pleasure - if you have ever wondered what the inside of someone's ass looks like, here it is in living color. Get the children out of the room... and if you are the least bit squeamish or faint of heart, don't even think about it.

MY COLON, by Annette Pearson:

the first photo shows 4 images at the beginning of the sigmoid colon and then up into the regular colon. Essentially - it's my ass. The Dr. commented on how lovely and pink it was!

Colon Photo 1


This second photo shows the colon a little closer to where the small intestine is attached. you can see the little pockets called diverticula.

Colon Photo 2

Thanks for reading! Take care of your colon - and each other.