The First Day of the Rest of ... oh you know...

First I want to say thank you to those who left such womderful and meaningful comments for me. I appreciate your support and love so much and I can really feel it. I love you guys.

The old cliche is really true. It is a new day for me. Yesterday I had a Dr. appointment where I got a good review. My blood test revealed that I need to take calcium and iron (oh goody - to those who have never taken iron supplements, it makes your bathroom experiences very interesting). So that was a good thing. I made some phone calls when I got back and drove out to Staples and then to the Post Office. Then I came home and had a nap. That's right - I laid down with Skittles and we had a CAT NAP. Right there on a Monday. Amazing. I know that will all end once I'm working full time again, but right now - it's what me and Skittles needed to do.

My last day at work was last Friday. It was very surreal. Tim (the temp guy) is completely overwhelmed. I don't think he's going to take the job if they offer it to him. It's not just a technical job, it's policy, dealing with people and groups of people, meetings (lots of meetings), and whatever else you can think of.

So then they had a "party" for me where they had a giant cake - in pink no less! Everyone who happened to be there at central office was there. It was a Friday in September and usually lots of people take the rest of their vested leave days toward the end of September so folks are scarce. They gave me a gift, which was a pink leather purse from Younkers. It's beautiful. The rest of the day I spent deleting stuff off my computer and putting sticky notes on the piles of work and papers on my desk. Bizarre.

So I left about 4:00 and came home with all my gifts (Angela and Christy also gave me presents), and then Jeff, Anita and I went to Ames to Hickory Park for dinner. We talked a little bit about work on the way there and then I decided not to even think about MICA for the rest of the weekend.

Saturday Joe and Eric took us to the Planned Parenthood book sale at the state fair grounds - and No, it wasn't to buy books about planned parenthood. The proceeds from the sale went to the organization. So I picked up a few books and that was fun.

Sunday was football day and I made black bean chili. It came out pretty tasty! I'm getting back into cooking because it's such a nurturing experience for me, that I really missed it. As long as I stick to my rules and try to make lower fat dishes, I will be just fine. I'm down below 300 pounds now, and it's been a while since I've been this weight. I think I was 8...

Anyway so I am officially unemployed (right now) and feeling very footloose and fancy free at the moment. I'm sure that will change, but for now, in the words of the hardest workin' man in show business - I FEEL GOOD! NA NA NA NA NA NA NA! I KNEW THAT I WOULD NOW!

Last Dance

Friday is my last day at MICA. Last weekend I went in on Saturday and met with Angela to show her a few things, and then Anita came over and we packed up everything in my office into 3 boxes. As we were leaving it occurred to me that there was 12 years of my life in those boxes; the pillow guitar that Dave H. gave me to play air guitar, the "Buffalo" award that Dave D. gave me, the picture Rachel drew of a lobster saying "Eat Me." These are incredible memories and at least I still have those "things." As we left I didn't know if I should feel glad or sad. It was emotional, but I just didn't know what emotion it was.

Last Friday, Myra informed me that they hired a temp from Robert Half in Des Moines on a 90 day contract. His name is Tim. He came to work on Tuesday and I have been working with him this week. Let me just say that it's impossible to impart 12 years of knowledge and experience to someone in 4 days. At least he will have Angela and Becky there to help him understand some things. After a meeting this morning he came into my office and said "This isn't just technical work." I said "No, far from it." He said "You do so much with policy, grant requirements, compliance issues, how do you do that and still do all this technical work?" Well, that's the real trick, isn't it? I don't know. It's experience. I just hope that things will get on track and they will be successful with my department. I will miss the people there, that is for sure.

So now I have 2 days of work left and I'm starting to get a little crazy. There are so many things I wanted to finish, but I guess some of those things just won't get finished. I don't know what else to say. I'm just not willing to work all day and at night on this stuff. I will show Tim what I can, and then he can email me with questions (I already gave him my email address).

My emotions are mixed right now and I'm having a little trouble sleeping. I hope this goes away eventually. This was probably the biggest decision I've ever made in my life and I don't regret making it. As my friend Mick said, "There is life after MICA..."

Stay tuned.

"I... am... OUTTA HERE!"

Thank you Dennis Miller!

So I gave my 2 week notice on Wednesday. Yeah, I know it really was hard too. At some point while I was off work I came to a realization that it wasn't really working out at work. I was overworked (I know why Arlene... no lectures please), I wasn't really going anywhere, and the pressure cooker environment just was not good for my health. You know alot of people think that the second surgery I had was a result of something that went wrong in the first surgery. It was not. I had an ulcer and it perforated. And the thing is, that ulcer was already there. Another stress-related disorder. I think between myself and Deb, we've experienced about every stress-related medical condition. I had shingles, TMJ, Meniere's; she had excema, heart palpitations, etc. Anyway, all that aside, I made a decision that I needed to get to the root of the problem and stop treating the symptoms.

Before my surgery, whenever I got upset, angry, depressed or stressed out, I would come home and eat EVERYTHING I COULD GET MY HANDS ON. So since I can't do that anymore, well, actually I buy things like new cars and Italian leather purses, but that's beside the point.

The point is . . . well my friend Kimber said it best in an analogy:
If you keep getting gonorrhea... and you keep buying penicillin to treat your gonorrhea... the problem isn't that you keep getting gonorrhea... the problem is that you're a WHORE! (I still loves me kitty, Kimber!)

So I decided that I was tired of being a whore and now I'm going to have a whole new life. I have more confidence, more energy, and I want to try something new. It's not that I don't think MICA does good work, it does and it's never the people. I love everyone (well, almost everyone) that I have worked with there over the last 12 years. The people are what makes MICA what it is - they put their whole hearts into their work. I just couldn't do it anymore though.

Sometimes I think that while I was off work, I saw things happening at work from a different perspective. I guess what I mean is, I wasn't there to buffer things, and I didn't like the way I saw people being treated. I felt bad when I first made this decision because I wasn't going to be there to "take care" of my team, but you know what? They're all grown women. And strong women and I think they can take care of themselves and will do what they can to make it work. I know they are going to hire someone to kind of take my place, but can anyone really take my place? Okay now I'm just blowing...

So there it is then. I'm going to experience new things and meet new people and I'm out there. Get ready, because here I come!