Takin' What They're Givin' Cuz I'm Workin' For A Livin'

Well, the rest of the Hospital Chronicles is kind of boring. The next Monday I had an X-Ray that showed everything had healed and then they let me DRINK and eventually EAT and then they let me go home. I was off for about another 2 weeks and then started back to work part-time from home only (under strict orders from Stephanie, the PA-C). So that was fine, and then on August 15, I started back to work full time. Thank GAWD! I need MONEY!

So things are going okay. I have been eating food with little incident, except on occasion, I will have a reflux kind of thing where I know the food is in the stomach, but it feels like I have to throw up. Actually it's kind of like when you have to belch, but you can't and your chest and everything hurts! That really bugs me but I have dealt with it. I think the reason is, that I just get too excited about food! Every time we go out with Joe and Eric I'm always begging them to order something so I can smell it, or they can eat it and then tell me what it tastes like, what it feels like in their mouth, etc. (easy, there Greg - you have a dirty mind).

Yes I live vicariously through others when it comes to food. I guess food has been such a huge part of my life, it's hard to let go all at once. I honestly don't think I could go back to eating the way I did before even if it was possible, I wouldn't do that. It's not worth it. What is worth it is to have my knees feel about 80% better than they ever have. And be able to sit in the car without my belly rubbing on the steering wheel.

There are little setbacks that happen but overall I think this was a great idea. I'm getting stronger and more confident every week and I actually feel better about myself. It's weird because I never really thought I had a self-esteem problem, but as it turns out I guess I did.

Last weekend at the Hy-Vee, I was walking out of the store with my sacks and there was a kind of a dirty guy standing outside eating a hamburger. He was poorly dressed and kind of smelly and had 2 wacky eyes. He raised his hand and said "How'r you doin' today?"

"Fine. Thanks," I replied and started walking briskly toward my car. I glanced to the left and he was walking right next to me.

"Are you single?" he inquired.

"Um, no. I'm not single." I kept walking. He hung his head dejectedly. "Oh, that's too bad," he lamented, "because you sure are lookin' good."

"Thanks. Bye." I stated as I unlocked the car door and jumped inside.

Anita got in the car and asked what that was all about. The guy hit on me. So THIS is the type of man I'm destined to attract now? The creepy, smelly guy with the wacky eyes eating a hamburger outside the Hy-Vee?? I eventually took the whole incident as a compliment and got on with my life. How could you not? Maybe he was an extremely wealthy kook like Howard Hughes....mmmm, nope. Probably not. But stay tuned, you may get a wedding invite from me and one of these guys.



So, I will keep on keepin' on... there is MUCH more to come in the next few weeks...

The Hospital Chronicles Part II - Episode 2: "nuuhggh"

The title: an homage to Terry Schaivo's blog... http://durrrrr.blogspot.com/ It was fun while it lasted.

As I lay in the hospital the next morning - after the whole pooping thing with the lady in the room and all. Then the doctor came in, but it was Dr. Shoopinstein (I really can't remember his name, but it was weird like that) and he was the Dr. on call because it was a Saturday and I knew that Dr. K. would be busy making whoopee in the new boat that I bought him. Anyway, the nurse is there and he says that he is going to start me on the feeding tube today ("nuhh..."). Well, this was upsetting to me and I started crying. I hate that about myself. But it was one of those things where you are thinking - was this the right thing to do at this time? Am I going to get through this? How long will this go on? Etc.

So they started the tube and later that day I was given a private room. That was just fine with me. In fact, I think it was the best thing that ever happened to me (until later that week). So here I am in my own room, with my feeding tube and no food and no water - just the sponge on a stick. I grew to hate that sponge. It mocked me. But I did have the NG tube taken out which was a big improvement too.

Nothing else of consequence happened in particular that day and the rest of that night. I did have a male nurse tech named Steve who was very nice, but who I didn't let wipe my butt. I just wasn't ready for that kind of intimacy yet and I apologized to him.

UPDATE - with PHOTOS!

So here it is August already and even though I am still having difficulties eating solid food, I am feeling a little better. I have lost a total of 74 pounds so far so I had Anita take some photos and I thought I would give you a glimpse of the old me and the new me (so far).



Sorry about not smiling - I was in a hurry and explaining to Anita how to take the picture. I will try and get some better pictures in the future - when I'm even skinnier!

The Hospital Chronicles Part II - Episode 1: "Well, Sh*t The Bed!"

(that's for you, Jeffy...)



The day after my surgery (Friday) I was moved to the surgical floor of Grinnell Regional Medical Center. I was placed in Room 207 with a little old woman who had a broken hip. Okay, who am I kidding - everyone on this floor was over 85 years old and had had a broken hip. So it wasn't so bad except that this little lady moaned a lot. I know she was in pain, but moaning is not bringing in the nurse, babe. After a while, my friend Rachel came to visit. The conversation was interrupted by moaning, then a frantic call on the nurse-phone - "I think I'm going to have a bowel movement!"

Well, she was right. And she had it right in the bed. Now for those of you who have never taken care of the elderly and convalescent, take note. Sh*t stinks. It reeks. Whether it's in the toilet, on the floor, in the bed or the port-a-potty, it smells bad. So I guessed it was time for a little walk.

So okay, after several times of the nurses and techs trying to get this lady up to the potty, she ended up sh*tting the bed many times that day and over the course of the night.

So during the night curious things happened. I cat-napped and every once in a while I heard the nurse alarm across the room.

"Can I help you?"
"Do you think someone could come in here and put a little pillow or something under my leg?"
"Someone will be right down."

After the tech came down, she explained to my roommate that there was already a pillow under her leg and did she want it moved? Did she want it taken out?

"No, that's okay. It feels fine."

Fifteen minutes later:
"Beep"
"Can I help you?"
"Do you think someone could come in here and put a little pillow or something under my leg?"
"Someone will be right down."

Then there was more sh*tting.

Now, I have to tell you that I didn't sleep much that night. Not only because of the sh*tting and the moaning, but because I was stressed out about my own situation too. Here I am, six weeks out of surgery and basically I don't know what's going to happen in my body yet.

The next morning, some genius figured out that they could put a Depends on that lady and they wouldn't have to change the bed and her clothes so often. A real genius.


CATCH UP - TODAY AUGUST 1, 2006

So to catch you up on a few other things, I'm doing a lot better. I went to the Dr. today and she's a little worried about me because she thinks I'm depressed. Maybe I am. In any case, there will be no going in to work for another 2 weeks! She said I could work half days from home, but she didn't want me to get too stressed out. The good news is I didn't get sick today. I have been getting sick just about every day because of the antibiotics I was taking and because I just couldn't eat any solid foods. I'm basically back at the beginning of the process at which I thought I was doing so well. I'm still doing okay, and I'm still losing weight (pictures to come soon) but it's harder than I thought. I thought I would be able to handle the changes and even the unexpected, but it really is hard. We talked about me going on Wellbutrin, but I don't really want to take any more drugs.

In any case, that's the update. I will be trying to get the rest of chronicles out this week, and some pictures online. According to the scale at the Dr.'s office, I have lost 74 pounds. Is that a lot?