The Hospital Chronicles - Episode 2: The Incident

Wednesday May 17, 2006. It's 5:00 AM. A woman enters my room with a white lab coat on. "I need some of your blood..." she whispers. I willingly stretch out my right arm, bruised from multiple needle sticks and tight blood pressure cuffs. In a low voice she says "Now it's gonna be a little poke." OUCH DAMMIT! Okay I'll just press the button. When I press the button all the pain goes away. Ahhh...

Laura, my day nurse comes in at 7:00 am to take my vitals. She tells me that my tubes will probably come out today! I'm so happy! Press the button.

Doctor Don comes in and says they can take out the NG tube and the catheter! Wow! This is awesome! Maybe at lunchtime I'll get a tray!

With my oxygen, NG and catheter now gone, it should be easy to walk around! I get up with much the same results as the night before. Pain. Just press the button. "Savin' the world, is all." I walk to the other side of the room. It's a miracle. I sit in the chair. Another bloody miracle. I go to the toilet. I am on a roll baby.

Sheila comes in to clean me up. She is very gentle and washes my dried out ICU skin with some Baby lotion soap and hot water. That feels good. She says we can go for a walk before lunch. Lunch? Cool. Now where's that button?

I manage to get up again and holding on to my "buddy" the IV stand, Laura and I take a walk out into the hallway of the ICU. It's bright out here. I'm walking though. I walk about 20 steps to the right and decide I need to sit down again. I walk 20 steps back to my room and my lunch tray is there. I sit down in the chair. Anita looks at me like I've seen a ghost. I look up - is the room moving? "I feel a little dizzy, do you think I should lay down for a while?" I stand up and walk to the bed. Sitting on the edge of the bed, I start hyperventilating. Just like when I'm having a panic attack, only this is different. I barely hear Anita say "She's going to pass out!" Everything goes black.

When I open my eyes I am laying on the bed with the oxygen mask strapped on my head. There are about 15 people around me. Laura is doing something with the machines above my head. I hear someone tell Anita to wait outside. I look around and Laura says my name. I respond to her and she says "She's back." Was I gone? Weird... Apparently I had passed out and all these people came rushing in just like on ER! It was awesome, only then it was kinda scary. My BP was pretty low and my hemoglobin had dropped. I was also a little dehydrated. They pushed a second bag of saline, and gave me 2 units of blood and 2 of plasma. I like to say that Laura saved me. She was right there man. All the staff at this unit are very highly skilled. They were right where they needed to be.

I slept for a while and then I got up later. They took another blood test. I walked, but just around the room. I did have a tray later with some broth and Jello. It tasted like manna from Heaven. I ended up having additional blood and plasma both Thursday and Friday. Just to give me "a boost," Dr. Don said.

So after my "incident" (of which we will never speak again), I'm feeling much better. I talked to the social worker later that day and I think this has been both a humbling and empowering experience. Your body only takes so much and you can't push it. I tried that. I thought this would be a breeze. I was wrong. Listen to the signals your body gives you. It's important to do what the doctors and nurses tell you to do, but if you don't feel like you are up to it, or you want to wait a while - it's okay. Eventually the body will come around.


Morphine (INN), the principal active agent in opium, is a powerful opioid analgesic drug. Like other opiates, morphine acts directly on the central nervous system (CNS) to relieve pain, and at synapses of the arcuate nucleus, in particular. Side effects include impairment of mental performance, euphoria, drowsiness, lethargy, and blurred vision. It also decreases hunger, inhibits the cough reflex, and produces constipation. Morphine is highly addictive when compared to other substances, and tolerance and physical and psychological dependence develop quickly. Patients on morphine often report insomnia and nightmares.

The word derives from Morpheus, the god of dreams in Greek mythology.

And you can keep pressing the button, but don't be fooled by it. It might make you think you can do things that you're not ready to do.