Off we go!

So here I am. My bag is packed, I have my journal, slippers, a robe and underpants. But you know that the first thing they do when you get to the hospital is take away your underpants... I'm taking them anyway.

It's been a very weird day. I worked until WAY too late last night on work stuff. Then I had a bizarro dream that I actually missed my surgical appointment because I had to work until 8:30 (UGH). I went to work this morning intending to stay until noon. I left at 5:00 (finally). I just stopped answering e-mails and phone calls. I made a couple of executive decisions and I left. Then when I got in the car I started to cry. I don't know why? I'm a GIRL! I don't know if it was the stress of work, the fear of the surgery, or because Barry Manilow was on the radio. I just can't put my finger on it. I'm guessing it was a combination of all those things.

I had a lot of friends here tonight. My friend Rachel was in town who is also going to the hospital with me tomorrow (she's a "nurse" and the subject of several novels to be written by my friend Gregory - "Nurse Rachel is Responsible," "Nurse Rachel Saves the Day," "Nurse Rachel in the Linen Closet." But I digress...

Gregory was also here tonight. He's been through many surgical procedures (too numerous to name) and is always supportive, and doesn't lie about stuff like this. He's been a great friend and inspiration.

My friend Mitch from Colorado came to town yesterday. When I asked why, he said because Sunday was Mother's Day, and "you're having this thing." He even gave me a card! Which absolved him from paying any more attention to me. He keeps me in check with his sharp wit and dry sense of humor.

And of course my little nephew Eric was here. I don't know what I'd do sometimes without him around. He makes me laugh even on the WORST days. Plus he'll have to take care of the kitties.

My sisters, Anita and Carolyn are going to be there for me also. My family may not always agree on things, but when it comes to health-related stuff, they are there, man. I mean they are loyal. Anita will be taking care of me, and I know and trust she will do anything in the world for me. I love her so much.

So my feelings are mixed. After talking to my nephew Jeff (Anita's son) I feel excited. He's been a workout guru for the last several months and said "I can't wait, man, you are gonna be mean!" Yup that's me! I'm gonna be one lean, mean motherf*cker!!

I talked to Jill yesterday too. She and Kenny have been my friends forever. I haven't had a chance to talk to Greg though and now it's too late to call him. But I know he'll be thinking about me. These people are, to me the best people in the world. They have never seen me as "fat." They were never embarassed by me in public. I love them so much.

Okay enough of that sappy stuff. I need sleep. So I will sign off for now, and I will be a new person the next time you hear from me. Well, my stomach will be new. The rest of me will still be the same.

I'm ready to face the tiger. Namaste.