"If it's not one thing, it's another..."

As Rosanne Rosannadanna put it so succincly, "It's always something."

I was released from the hospital yesterday (and for the third time this calendar year). Friday night I started having what I can only describe as excrutiating pains in my groin and side. I mean this was bad. So Anita drove me all the way to Grinnell (so's not to have to deal with the Marshalltown idiots). The ER doc examined me, in between my dry heaves, and decided I should have some x-rays.

Then another doctor came in and examined me and proceeded to press very hard on every place that hurt. EVERY place including my pubis, and no, I didn't enjoy it (even though he was a cute little asian doctor - probably a resident). So he decided I should have a CAT scan.

They gave me what I can only guess was LOADS of morphine and then took me to a room and admitted me. Later after a drug-induced nap of some sort, I was told to "drink this within the next 20 minutes." The liquid was room temperature and white and chalky. The girl with the cool glasses told me it was for contrast on the CAT scan. Okie Dokie...

After 45 minutes and a giant dose of toredal (another pain medicine), she came back and whisked me to a room with a giant doughnut in it. The machine told me when to breathe and when to hold my breath. Cool.

I was wheeled back to my room at lightning speed (I don't know why those girls walk so fast!) and put back into bed where I slipped off into a dream-like state while Eric had to sit with me and watch Food Porn on Foodnetwork. I told him to go home - "you can't do any more good back there, Wedge!"

So the verdict was that I had (or have) a kidney stone. Now, I find out that gastric bypass patients are PRONE to getting kidney stones, but I don't remember reading that in any of the literature or brochures. Anyway, I stayed overnight there (Saturday) and this morning I had more x-rays (something called a "KUB" which I'm guessing is "Kidney, Ureter, Bladder"). So then later this morning, Dr. Bandstra, the urologist, called me and told me that he was sure he had seen a stone, but in today's pictures, he didn't see it. He thinks I may have passed it, but it didn't show up in my urine (yes, they were straining my urine, kind of like panning for gold - only different).

So he called later and decided I should just go home since I wasn't having any more pain and hadn't thrown up my Rice Krispies. I do have to go back and see him on Tuesday and I guess we will go from there.

Anyway, I wanted to let you all know that I'm doing all right and I'm back
home again. I'm still planning on coming to Texas for Thanksgiving. And I have alot to be thankful for.

A special shout-out to my sister Anita for holding my head up while I puked. I love you without limits.

Some housekeeping business:

1. Don't forget to vote on Tuesday! So we can get those f*cking republican bastards out of there! Oh, sorry, that was meant to be a non-partisan message.

2. Don't forget to watch LOST on Wednesday on ABC at 8:00 PM Central time. It's the last one before the winter break and I hear it's a doozy.